


Invisible Love

by Pervy_Mel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Longing, M/M, Mutual Pining, TsukiHina, TsukiHina Week, TsukiHina Week 2020, just a little little bit, song inspiration, tiny little bit on angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26613544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pervy_Mel/pseuds/Pervy_Mel
Summary: "There are many things one should not loveSo this is why I become sadderBut the saddest partis that you do not love meI didn’t ask you to stay with meBut there is no reason for you to leaveSo I will silently love youEven if my tears show in my sadness"
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Kudos: 36
Collections: TsukiHina week 2020!





	Invisible Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!  
> Third day of the TsukiHina Week 2020, the prompt I choose is longing and I took my inspiration for a korean song sang my Shin Seung Hoon titled "Invisible love" (you should really listen to it) 
> 
> Enjoy!!

Shouyou was sitting in the classroom, waiting for the class to start; it was a rainy day, he was looking at the drops gliding down the window, tracking them as the bead of water was making its way to the bottom of the glasses. It was a gloomy day, gloomy as his thoughts, it has been a few days since dark clouds invaded his mind. He just wanted to stay home, in bed hiding under his blanket; he thought that maybe if he stayed home he wouldn’t hurt this much. Shouyou’s mind was hurting him, his heart was killing him. 

“-nata-kun? Hinata-kun?”

Shouyou was brought back from wherever he was in his mind by a classmate.

“Yes?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes...why?”

“I’ve been calling you and you didn’t react, anyway someone wants to see you at the door.”

“Oh, sorry...thanks.”

Shouyou got off his seat and walked to the door. 

Tsukishima was waiting at the door and seemed annoyed.

“Tsk, finally, here Yachi asked me to give you that.” he said, giving Shouyou some paper. “It’s for the club,” he added before walking away. 

“Thanks…” whispered Shouyou, watching the tall silhouette walking away, in the direction of his own classroom. 

Shouyou walked back to his seat and dropped on his chair as his homeroom teacher was getting in the room. 

Shouyou tried his best to listen to his teacher and the other ones that followed; he needed to pay attention to the class, he was in his last year of high school and while he wasn’t sure of what he wanted to do with his future He knew that he still didn’t to graduate with good score, but it was hard, really hard when his mind was driving away.

He knew it was his own fault, he didn’t fall in love with the right person, someone who will never love him back. There are so many things he shouldn’t love and Tsukishima Kei was one of them. 

Shouyou didn’t know what to do, how to act, his heartbeat was rising each time he was seeing Tsukishima and his heart was sinking each time the latter snapped at him and simply ignored him. 

Yes, Shouyou was in love with Tsukishima, but he couldn’t do anything about it other than keep his feelings for himself and continue to love him from afar. His love needed to remain invisible. 

Once the class was over, Shouyou headed for the boy volleyball team changing room. On his way he met Yamaguchi, the team captain, who was just getting out of his classroom. 

“Oh, Hinata!”

“Hi, Yamaguchi!!”

“Heading for the changing room?”

“Yup.”

Shouyou realized Tsukishima wasn’t there, he was always around his best friend, Shouyou was almost relieved. 

“Tsuki will not participate to the practice today, he said he didn’t felt good, so he headed home early”

“Oh...he is ok?”

Yamaguchi shrugged “He seemed ok during class.” He replied, “He has been acting weird for a few weeks, I tried to know what was going on, but he refused to answer my question.” he added.

“Hope it’s nothing serious”

“Nah, don’t think so, it looks more like if he was really annoyed at something, or someone, and he just doesn't know what to do. I feel like he has a crush on someone and he can deal with it.”

Shouyou was amazed by how easy Yamaguchi seemed to be able to read Tsukishima, he was a bit jealous too; he wished he could do the same, but he also knew it was dangerous. Being able to read the tall blond meant to spend a lot of time with him and Shouyou couldn’t do that even if he had the possibilities. 

After the practice, Shouyou took his bike and headed home, wondering what the next day will be made of. 

* * *

Kei was annoyed, really annoyed, more annoyed than ever, why but why on Earth did he need to fall for the one person with the most cheerful personality and brightest smile he ever saw. That guy was like the Sun, why a guy like him; him who was cold, blunt and harsh could fall for Hinata Shouyou. 

He managed to skip the practice for once, he didn’t have to deal with that flow of feelings that he didn’t know what to do with, but he knew he could skip all of them, he will have to learn to manage his feeling, learn to hide them as much as he could, keep them invisible. 

He really tried his best to keep Hinata away from him, he tried to look more annoyed when he was around, more harsh, more mean in general, so far it work very well, it work so well than even Yamaguchi believed in it and he start asking questions, questions kei didn’t want to answer, question he couldn’t answer. 

“What am I supposed to do, I will not be able to keep him away from me forever, the team will eventually suffer from it. It’s fine for now cause it’s only practice, but when the official games will begin, it will be something else.” said Kei to himself. 

He was laying down onto his bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what he should do, how he should act, the only thing he knew is that he couldn’t say anything, he could only love him from afar. 

The next day Kei came to school, made sure to stay away from Hinata’s class, he didn’t want to see him this early in the morning. The day before he had to deliver some paper to him from Yachi and he didn’t want it to happen again. 

“Tsuki!!!” 

Kei heard his best friend calling him from behind, he turned around and saw that Yamaguchi wasn’t alone, Hinata was with him. Kei began to wonder if he was cursed. 

“Good morning Yamaguchi!” as much as it was painful, he decided the best way was to ignore Hinata, even if it was hard to not see the pain in those golden-brown eyes, pain from being ignored. 

Of course his friend didn’t miss that either. 

“Is it too early in the morning to be mean to Hinata? He didn’t do anything. In fact he is more kind than you since he waited for him when he saw me walking alone, even if he was on his bike.”

Kei click is tongue “Whatever.”

Kei turned away from them and headed for the school, missing the painful expression Hinata was wearing. 

Kei didn’t want to hurt him, he didn’t want to see any kind of painful expression on his face, but he couldn’t do anything about it, the more he was mean and harsh toward Hinata, the further away Hinata will get from him, for now it was his solution. The object of his desire needed to stay away. Longing for him was easier for now. 

During their first break, Yamaguchi sat in front of him with a determined look and he already felt the headache starting, he knew he couldn’t avoid his friend’s question forever. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Did you have to be this mean with Hinata, I get you are annoyed by him, but to the point to ignore him it goes a bit far.” 

“Yamaguchi.”

“No Yamaguchi, if you can’t be nice to him, I will ask the coach to sit you out the next game.”

Kei didn’t know what to say, but he should have seen it coming, his attitude toward Hinata just gave the impression that he couldn't stand him. 

“Why me and not him?”

“Cause he didn’t do anything wrong, plus your recent attitude affects him more than you seem to realize, plus we need him more than you.”

It wasn’t the first time his best friend was this harsh toward him, maybe it is exactly what he needed, to be threatened to be benched during the next game. 

“What do you want to do? Talk to him, pretend to be friends with him?”

“No, just not ignore him, saying hi to him, acknowledge his present will not kill you.”

_ “That you don’t know” _ though Kei before answering “I will try.”

“Don’t try, do it, it’s your captain that is talking not your friend.” 

Yamaguchi got off the chair to return to his seat. 

* * *

Shouyou didn’t know what to do, how to act, how to react, a part of him felt almost happy to be ignored by Tsukishima, it will make everything easier, but another part was in pain. The guy he was in love with seemed to think he wasn’t even worth being greeted. Was Tsukishima so annoyed by him that he didn’t even want to talk to him. Shouyou began to wonder if he should just quit the club, he knew he was already getting affected by the situation; he stopped counting the number of people who weren't genuinely worried about him because he wasn’t as cheerful anymore, he wasn’t smiling as much as before. 

How could he keep smiling when the guy that he loved seemed to hate him? 

Yeah, quitting the club was probably the best he could do, they didn’t need him, they could play without him. He will speak to coach Ukai and Tekada sensei after today's club activity, maybe Yamaguchi could be there too, he was the captain after all. 

The thought of quitting the club hurt him, hurt him a lot, quitting a sport he loved so much, a sport he worked so much for. But did he really have another choice, he needed to leave before his play got affected too. 

His decision was taken, he needed to leave the club. 

Once class was over, Shouyou took the changing room direction hoping to not meet any teammates. He felt heavy, on the verge of crying, but he didn’t want to let go his emotions, not now. 

He saw the tall silhouette of Tsukishima walking in front of him, shouyou slowed down his pace, after this morning the last thing he wanted was to see him. At least for now, once he would have quit the club it would be different. He could still have those invisible feelings for him, but he would not have to interact with him. 

However, as if he felt his presence, Tsukishima stopped and turned around to look him in the eyes. A shiver got through Shouyou’s spine, Tsukishima seemed to wait for him now and Shouyou didn’t know what he should do, walk past beside him hoping he would not talk to him or just take another path. Shouyou decided to go with the first option, hoping it was just a coincidence, hoping Tsukishima wasn’t really waiting for him. He walked in the tall blond direction, looking in front of him. He walked by Tsukishima, heard him saying his name and which made him walk at a faster pace. 

Why does he want to talk to him now, it didn’t make any sense, Tsukishima was so mean and harsh to him. Shouyou talked, he just wanted to tell him something harsh again and he didn’t want to hear it. 

Shouyou got to the changing room, quickly changed and headed for the gym before Tsukishima got there. 

During the practice he managed to avoid Tsukishima, he stayed as far as he could from him, he tried to not even look at him. 

After the practice he walked to the team coach and the club advisor, telling them that he needed to speak to them in private. Yamaguchi who was nearby asked if he could join as the team captain, Hinata said yes even if a part of him didn’t want to. 

Once everyone left, Shouyou was sitting in Ukai’s small office with Takeda sensei and Yamaguchi. 

“What’s wrong Hinata?” asked coach Ukai.

“I...I’m planning on quitting...the club.”

Silence, the only sound that could be heard was the four men breathing sound. 

“Wait!!! What?? What do you mean quitting?” shout Ukai after he processed what Shouyou just told them. 

“I can’t continue playing in the team...I’m not myself anymore and…”

“It’s cause of Tsuki...Right Hinata-kun?” then asked Yamaguchi. 

“No...yes...it’s… I’m quitting, I.. I have my own reason!!”

Shouyou quickly got off his seat and ran to the changing room. He was soon followed by Yamaguchi who was running after him. 

“Wait Hinata-kun!!! Wait dammit Hinata.”

Shouyou stopped, he was crying, he didn’t even realize that he was crying. 

“Hinata-kun? What’s wrong?” softly asked Yamaguchi once he was beside him. 

“I...I can’t continue like that…”

“I know Tsuki was really horrible lately to you, but you shouldn’t because of him, really maybe you should talk to him.”

“NO! NO! NO! I CAN’T!”

“Calm down Hinata, why not?”

“I can’t just talk to the guy I love when he _hates_ me…” whispered Hinata. 

That was it, he said it, he didn’t want to but he said he and there was no go back. 

He took advantage of Yamaguchi being too shaken, to take off and climb the stairs to get to the changing room. Shouyou took his belongings without taking the time to change clothes, ran outside, took his bike and left the school ground without looking behind him. 

* * *

The news came like a very cold shower, Hinata was quitting the club and it was cause of him, Kei couldn’t just believe it. It was the first thing his best friend told him when he saw him.

“Did he really say it was because of...me?” he asked Yamaguchi. 

“He didn’t say it explicitly, but with the way he was acting, it doesn’t leave a lot of doubt.” 

“...Did he say anything else?”

“...No…” 

“Yamaguchi”

“Tsuki...sorry I can’t tell you...if you want to know you will have to speak to him.”

Kei didn't have any other choice anymore, he needed to speak to Hinata, he should have known his attitude will have consequences. 

“How?” 

“Before the club, if he is really quitting he needs to bring back his uniform.”

“Right...I will find a way to talk to him.”

“Tsuki.”

“I will talk to him Yamaguchi.”

“Ok.”

All through the day, Kei tried to catch a glimpse of Hinata, he knew talking to him during the school time would probably be impossible, but he still needed to make sure he was at school. He couldn’t let Hinata leave the club, not cause of him. 

The bell signaling the end of the class rang and everyone got off his seat, Kei took his bag and walked to Hinata’s classroom hoping that he was still there. He gave a look in the room and saw bright orange hair; Kei wasn’t sure if he was happy or not. He decided to wait for him, leaning against the wall. 

Soon as he saw Hinata going out of the room he called him,

“Hinata.”

Shouyou froze on place when he heard Kei calling him, what was he doing there, was he waiting for him? Did Yamaguchi tell him anything, if yes what did he told him? 

Shouyou’s mind had so many questions circling around his mind that he didn’t notice Kei was standing right next to him which startled him. 

“Tsuki...shima?”

“We need to talk…”

“Hmm I have stuff to do.”

“Like bringing back your uniform?”

“...”

“Yamaguchi told me and that’s why we need to talk, let’s go somewhere quieter.”

Shouyou let out a heavy sigh and nod, he followed Kei and waited for him while he was talking to Yamaguchi. 

Once they were far, somewhere where no one could hear them, Kei looked at Shouyou and told him something Shouyou never thought he would have heard from him.

“I’m sorry.” which was followed by “Don’t leave.”

“What...what Yamaguchi told you? About what I said yesterday…”

“He told me that you were planning to cause of..me, which wouldn’t be surprising. I was horrible to you. I...shouldn’t have acted this way, I shouldn’t have spoken to you sooner, instead of being a monster trying to push you away. I didn’t tell you to stay by my side, but I didn’t want you to leave either.”

Shouyou wasn’t sure what he should say.

“What do you mean...push me away? You say you didn’t want me to leave.”

“Sorry, maybe I don't really make sense...At first it was the smile, I kept seeing your smile in my sleep, I was longing for it. Then I was searching for your smell, the fresh smell of your shampoo, that same shampoo that makes your hair look so soft, so soft that I want to pass my hand in them. Soon I was only thinking about you and it annoyed me, so my solution was to be mean and harsh in hope that I will stop thinking about you all the time.”

Shouyou took a moment to digest everything that Kei just said, after a moment he wet his lips and took a deep breath. 

“So what you are saying is… that you love me?”

“Yeah...a love that could have remained invisible if I wasn’t an idiot.”

A tear glided down Shouyou cheek, Kei made a movement to wipe it but stopped at the last moment upon realizing what he was doing. 

“Hinata…”

Shouyou let out a soft laugh.

“Thanks to you those few weeks were horrible, I was wondering what I have done, I was wondering if you had figured me out and that was why you were this mean, I’m relieved that it’s not the case.”

“Figure you out?”

Shouyou smiled, a smile Kei was scared to lose, a smile Kei was happy to see. 

“Yesterday, Yamaguchi tried to convince me to talk to you, but I told him that I couldn’t talk to the one I love when he hates me….I really thought that you were hating me.”

“Hinata…”

“It’s ok...Tsu...Kei! Knowing how you feel, I don’t have to hide my feelings anymore.”

Shouyou made a few steps in Kei direction, got on the tip of his toes and reached for Kei lips. 

“Come Kei...we need to go, the club activities are still ongoing,” said Shouyou with the brightest smile Kei ever saw him wearing. 

“Yeah…”

Shouyou and Kei walked side by side, their arms brushing against each other, fingers shyly looking to intertwine. 

They didn’t have to be longing for each other anymore, their love didn’t have to stay invisible anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think in the comment below.
> 
> You can find me on Twitte @MelPervy.


End file.
